The Dual Life
The Pandemic and two years of remote work have planted two distinct individuals inside me. When a decision to socialise is made by one, the other does not object. But as “the day” approaches closer, the other one wakes up to whine about having to act. I have named these two individuals as Krack and Jack.
Jack loves the quiet life in Mysore. For me, the treasure trove of this city is its walking/cycling trails in nature’s bounty and the ability to enjoy picnics in picturesque locations on the outskirts. On weekdays, work schedules are erratic. I barely get time with my husband despite living in the same house. Jack prefers that we(husband and I) spend time with each other over meeting other people. I live in a tier-two city and work remotely with barely any social life. I often feel isolated and crave more human interaction. The city I live in offers limited options in food, leaving the foodie in me unsatisfied.
My husband has no qualms with us(Jack, Krack and me) moving to Bangalore if that is what we want. But Jack has grown fond of this charming city and does not want to see my husband and I staying apart. We lived apart before the pandemic and appreciate the fact that we get to live together now, thanks to my remote work. When my husband is away/busy on a weekend, Krack wants me to socialise. Jack tempts me by painting a picture of me sitting on the couch by the window with a cup of tea, reading or writing. How can I not give in to that?
Whenever there are planned meet-ups with friends/family/office folks, Krack’s excitement is contagious only for Jack to swoop in to turn that initial enthusiasm into gloom. Time and again, giving in to Krack has left a wonderful feeling. But there have also been times when I wished I was back home on my couch. This ambiguity in my personality eats up a lot of mental energy. Having been an overthinker all my life, decision-making has gotten more difficult, especially with Jack and Krack taking over my life, playing tug of war. I change my mind at the drop of a hat.
Krack and Jack appear in my life as if on an infinite loop, just like this…
I am more Jack than Krack, but Krack has been instrumental in shaping my life. It was Krack’s idea to try Bumble to meet like-minded people in Mysore when Jack kept telling me I didn’t have time to make friends. I am glad I listened to Krack. I made a good friend on Bumble.
Right now, Jack is asking “Should you even publish this blog? Don’t you sound crazy?” while Krack is standing in the background screaming melodramatically, “No, Do not listen to Jack!”. I have to say that today is Krack’s day. “Stay away Jack! I will publish this blog and consider your opinion next time”
